


Light Them Up

by doofnpuss



Series: Black Wedding [3]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: M/M, human!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 06:50:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15858429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doofnpuss/pseuds/doofnpuss
Summary: Heinz wants to throw a party for Vanessa. Insert an embarrassed teenager.





	Light Them Up

Everything was coming together. Heinz reveled in that feeling of accomplishment, the one he usually got after inventing yet another inator. The room looked stunning- and it wasn’t even halfway completed! He was just about to lay the finishing touches on the main wall, when there was a crash through the ceiling. Layers of dust sprayed all throughout the floor as a teal-haired man sheepishly stood amongst the pile of wood he’d just destroyed. However, Heinz wasn’t paying the slightest attention.

“Quick, Perry, could you hand me that staple gun?”

After a pause, the agent dropped his guard and ran the item over to Heinz’s hands. The doctor put a few staples in the huge banner that spelled out _Happy Birthday Vanessa,_ and let out a small sigh, climbing down the ladder to look at his work so far. Perry watched him, a perplexed expression on his face.

“So, what do you think?” Heinz smiled proudly. “It’s my daughter, Vanessa’s birthday! I try to throw her a party every year.” The doctor produced a small wallet, where several pictures unfolded in front of the agent. Heinz only let Perry look for a second before pulling the pictures back, embarrassed. 

“I know we usually go about our daily battle of good vs. evil. But instead, could you maybe help me set up the party for my little girl? _Please?_ ”

Heinz couldn’t believe he was asking his nemesis of all people to help with such a task. Wasn’t this something that _family_ did together? Not that he knew what a family was really like. And after all, the doctor reminded himself, it was a lot of work, and why waste the agent’s trip over when he had nothing evil for him to foil. Having Perry help made logical sense. Plus, Heinz was growing a little more comfortable with a casual Perry. It was a nice break in the daily routine. 

The two immediately got to work blowing up balloons, making the punch, hanging the disco ball, and setting up Heinz’s favorite pictures of Vanessa all around the room. 

As they were spinning the cake and applying icing, Perry snapped his fingers to get Heinz’s attention. “So when is she coming over?”

“Vanessa? She should be here any.. Oh wait, there she is!”

“Dad?” Vanessa’s voice grew louder as she opened the back door. “What are you.. Oh no.”

“Surprise, Vanessa! Happy sweet sixteenth birthday, Pumpkin! Do you like it? I decorated it all myself! Well, mostly, I had a little help from.. wait, you remember Perry Greyson, our nemesis right?”

Perry was perched in one of the chairs, still blowing up the last of the balloons. He tipped his fedora politely.

Vanessa sighed. “You mean your nemesis?”

“Wait, you haven’t seen the grand finale! Check this out!” Heinz excitedly unveiled the stage curtain, showcasing a giant firecracker with hundreds of tiny firecrackers taped to it. “We’ll launch it into the sky! How cool will that be, huh?”

“Dad, please, stop! Look around you! I’m a teenager, this, this is for a little girl! Don’t you know me anymore?”

“But I invited all your friends..”

“You did _what!_ I don’t want them to see this!”

Despite trying to keep his smile, Heinz could feel his elated mood crashing. When would he ever get it right? No matter what, he could never make his daughter happy. The disappointment began to move him into a dark place, especially as he watched her sulk away from him, throwing her party hat on the ground. 

He flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Sorry I made you stay and help when she doesn’t even like it.” Heinz sighed miserably. 

The hand carefully slipped away. Heinz expected the agent to simply leave. After all, there was nothing else to be done. But suddenly, Perry was up on the stage, messing with his giant firecracker.

“Hey!” Heinz snapped. “That took a long time to build, you know. Don’t get any ideas!”

But his nemesis had _that_ look. The one that Heinz knew meant the agent had his mind set on something. So when Perry completely disregarded the scientist’s comment, and began to mess with it anyway, Heinz pulled out a laser gun. 

“I wasn’t kidding, you know!”

Now a little pissed off, Heinz shot the first blast. Of course Perry dodged it, seamlessly dipping off the stage and cartwheeling just out of reach. Even more angry now, Heinz continued to send off loud blasts from his laser gun. The two began to battle, unaware of the chaos they were causing around them. 

Suddenly, Heinz crashed into the firecracker, and it started counting down. 

“Move, move, move, it’s going to go off! Vanessa, move!”

Heinz was used to explosions by now. It was at least every other week when one of his inators would explode, usually leaving a mass of destruction in its wake. He grabbed onto Vanessa and they both crashed to the ground as the firecracker began to heat up, and burst into the sky, sending half of the ceiling crashing down. 

For a moment there was nothing but silence. Heinz dizzily pulled himself up, coughing violently. Vanessa and Perry were just behind him, crawling out from underneath fallen table. As the smoke cleared, the doctor looked about the room, horrified at the scene. Everything was shredded, burnt, or both. It was a complete disaster. 

And then, Vanessa was over to the door, greeting her friends as they walked into the room. 

“Dude, this is awesome.”  
  
“Vanessa, this is sick! Did you do all this?”

And then she was peering over at him, a big smile on her face. “Actually, my dad did it. With some help from Perry, of course.”

Heinz’s heart leaped as Vanessa reached over and gave him a big hug. He held his girl tight, wishing he could have this every day, and trying to hang onto it while he could. As Vanessa friends toured the room, Heinz happened to glance at Perry, who was strapping himself into his jetpack. Perry returned his nemesis’ gaze and smirked, tipping his fedora, before speeding off into the sky. 

“Thank you, Perry Greyson.” Heinz whispered. 


End file.
